Trans at the Spa

Recently there is a case out of LA where female patrons were upset about someone who identified as trans being in I’m assuming a sauna like area of a spa and whose genitals were exposed. I saw the video weeks ago where some lady is complaining about this person being exposed. The other day I read that the person who is assumed to be trans has a sex offender rap sheet. So many things come up when I hear about cases like this because yes as a transwoman, I should support trans visibility and trans people tranning wherever we may be. But I am no fool to think for one second my body and my presence will not be regarded as a threat and invite conflict in many spaces particularly single -sex spaces. Most people are just not evolved enough to accept gender being between our ears and not our legs. We just aren’t there yet as a society and I’m such a realist I doubt we ever will be. In a better world transwomen or women with penises would not be as big a deal as it is. I’ve spoken before of how much I hate women’s restrooms and all the anxiety i feel when I have to use them. The law can be what it is but there are laws that function de facto socially . And those often have much more of a greater pull than what people in government say.

This person if what I hear is true has done a harm against our community. And I keep saying person and not transwoman because I feel like a real transwoman would be mindful of all the pain she and her sisters could experience for being exposed and erect in a women’s space. I venture to say most of us would not be comfortable having our bodies out like that in those types of spaces because we know the consequences. I believe that there are people who masquerade as trans, who get off on stirring shit up enough to make us as a collective look bad or like predators. This causes real harm to real transwomen who are saturated with immense stigma and discrimination with our identities. It sort of says ” Look you see they’re really men” and ” this is why we have bathroom bills”. In a better world ,people who belong to marginalized identities would not be judged on the actions of one or a few. But alas, we do not live in that world and we have to be conscious of the real life effects of bias and discrimination. I always say ,you as a transwoman wanna know if a cis woman in your life is really an ally, go with her into a public bathroom and see how she acts.

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