But all I can say is that it can be tough and confusing to be a transwoman. As lonely and rejecting as that truth can be, I acknowledge the flow to my person. And i am very much my own woman even if by the narrow margins of ‘woman’ and ‘transwoman’ I never fit. I get off on the discomfort of others. I love to make a Christian’s dick hard. I love the outrage and indignation. The exceptions exist for a reason. And often it’s to rattle the brains of sheep so conformed and deformed, they hardly have a clue of their own identity. Its’ blessings and its’ curses. “Hard” and “tough” are relative. So I ‘ll say simply I was born with legacies of trauma , adversity, mayhem, bloodlust, murder, spirituality, undefined strength, talent, beauty, flavor, pride, shame , seeds of something extraordinary. How “trans” the experience of Black people period in this “white world” as we ourselves constantly work out man,woman and other and what that means to us. At 21 I decided to live on my own terms. The residuals of that declaration are everlasting.
My club is open 24/7
The lights lean toward dim to dark,
the diamond is calm with less shine
My club a rather joyous affair,it reflects
a certain disorder, a classy commotion
Frequently denizens roll in
Mens all kinds of Black and Brown varieties
coming to experience the club and its’ headliner
In this club that fantasy gets experienced candidly
They will never forget maybe fail though to remember
the smell, the taste, the friction, the tension, the
headliner; a pious performer, a worshipper of Erotica,
femme agression, a white liver haver, proud Sapphire
jewel blessing tools.
Trans-assual not transactional upon assumption of the club
the dame seems some love, some hugs but will settle for some rough
nuts and agressive hands and faces forced into a sham
What tales
the walls
could tell
my club
my castle
my sanctuary
my situation for my hells
and my 100 watt smiles
and dreams of believing in dreams
of streams of income
Escape
Breathe
Exhale
silence
my tales’ wail
May business continue
residency secured
till I say farewell
Big Black Trans and Beautiful 