What I know

But all I can say is that it can be tough and confusing to be a transwoman. As lonely and rejecting as that truth can be, I acknowledge the flow to my person. And i am very much my own woman even if by the narrow margins of ‘woman’ and ‘transwoman’ I never fit. I get off on the discomfort of others. I love to make a Christian’s dick hard. I love the outrage and indignation. The exceptions exist for a reason. And often it’s to rattle the brains of sheep so conformed and deformed, they hardly have a clue of their own identity. Its’ blessings and its’ curses. “Hard” and “tough” are relative. So I ‘ll say simply I was born with legacies of trauma , adversity, mayhem, bloodlust, murder, spirituality, undefined strength, talent, beauty, flavor, pride, shame , seeds of something extraordinary. How “trans” the experience of Black people period in this “white world” as we ourselves constantly work out man,woman and other and what that means to us. At 21 I decided to live on my own terms. The residuals of that declaration are everlasting.

My club is open 24/7

The lights lean toward dim to dark,

the diamond is calm with less shine

My club a rather joyous affair,it reflects

a certain disorder, a classy commotion

Frequently denizens roll in

Mens all kinds of Black and Brown varieties

coming to experience the club and its’ headliner

In this club that fantasy gets experienced candidly

They will never forget maybe fail though to remember

the smell, the taste, the friction, the tension, the

headliner; a pious performer, a worshipper of Erotica,

femme agression, a white liver haver, proud Sapphire

jewel blessing tools.

Trans-assual not transactional upon assumption of the club

the dame seems some love, some hugs but will settle for some rough

nuts and agressive hands and faces forced into a sham

What tales

the walls

could tell

my club

my castle

my sanctuary

my situation for my hells

and my 100 watt smiles

and dreams of believing in dreams

of streams of income

Escape

Breathe

Exhale

silence

my tales’ wail

May business continue

residency secured

till I say farewell

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