Ring, Ring, Ring. Damnit. I slammed my Nextel down so hard on the dresser pissed off at my once again stupid ass boyfriend Craig. Fuck him. I steamed hugging my teddy bear. Ugh I’m Kamila Rice, National Honor Society, Mayor’s Youth Council,3.5 GPA as well as admission to Princeton in the fall. Not to mention I wasn’t ugly either. Around 5’4, 125 lbs, honey colored, high cheekbones and some pouty pink lips, straight teeth and my well managed weave I got done about once a month courtesy of my aunt Iesha. I also had nice c-cup breasts and a nice ass that made many men disbelieve I was only 17.And up until prom still a virgin. Fucking Craig, who I’d started going out with in September after paying his ass no mind after four years at Stamford High. But Craig who was tall, darkskin, basketball player body had stepped up his dress game a tenth fold. All throughout the year we’d been trying to fuck because he was surprisingly still a virgin as well. The roadblocks were our 50 year old mothers, real old fashioned and both of us had full houses denying any privacy especially since my dumb ass sister moved back home.
Nevertheless prom night we got it popping in my mom’s car. But ever since then a week ago, Craig was ignoring me, paying more attention to his boys than me. Fuck him I knew my pussy was good. As I reminisced over Craig’s dumb ass and all the boys I used to date, I was hit with the desire to go out. Damn! I wish I lived in New York or some big city. Stamford, CT a suburb about 45 minutes from Manhattan wasn’t exactly the type of place for a night on the town. However it was June, nice outside and bound to be some cute boys out with an honest to Pete hard dick. I didn’t really care. I washed, douched, shaved my legs, oiled my body and picked out a pair of daisy dukes and a baby doll tee. On my feet were a pair of Coach sneakers and my gold ankle bracelet that made my skin sparkle. I threw on some lip-gloss, nothing serious because makeup should be used sparsely. Tonight the house was quiet. My mother and sister had gone upstate to see my grandmother and would be there overnight.
Before leaving the crib ,I packed my mace, condoms, money and pack of Newports. Walking the street, I saw cars pass by some with all niggas, or a couple or sometimes dudes just by themselves. Each and every one of them had a different length, different strokes, different sex. A bitch like me was going to find it. I just didn’t want my rep ruined. A small city like Stamford everybody fucked everybody. Girls were dissed crazy, everything you did was put on blast. Not to mention ,Black girls were put in a tough situation. In Stamford, black boys tended to flock to white and Spanish girls saying they were better in so many ways to sistahs. To compete, black girls had to go to lengths. In the process, our reputations were turned to shit later. There was this one girl Sharia who fucked over 50 dudes. Apparently there was a list of her conquests that got stolen by her friend and posted on Myspace. There were also videos and photos of this chick. Damn near the whole town had seen her ass, titties and pussy. Now she messed around with girls since no dude would be caught dead talking to her ass.
Damn, I thought about all this as I stopped in front of McDonalds. About a hundred teenagers were outside and inside the restaurant. I saw an acquaintance Shamika and a few other girls posted up. I didn’t really have any friends especially this year when I had gotten on my grind with school. However they were chilling, passing a blunt and attracting a lot of boys. Looking down at me I knew these hoes were no competition. Now I narrowed my eyes on potentials. There were quite a few honeys out tonight, most of them from outta town. There was this slim, lightskin thang with cornrows, real pretty, total slut. I liked this tall Hershey bar with dimples but I wasn’t feeling how tight his jeans were. Damn. I needed a hard, bad boy. I finally came to that conclusion. I was pulling from my second blunt, keeping an eye out for the cops when my eyes beheld him. A man. He was no boy, this was a man. 6 feet, real slim but hard, the color of caramel, face covered with facial hair and an eyebrow piercing. Not to mention he was real ruggedly dressed jeans hanging off his ass, oversize white tee and some white uptowns. I was staring him down as he clowned and joked with some dudes. I drifted off a bit staring blankly into space imaging what his dick looked like, how or did he eat pussy and what was his favorite position. I must’ve been really out of it cause next thing I knew a presence was in front of me talking. “Yo shawty,ayy girl,yo,” someone said. I snapped out of it only to face Mr. Mystery. He was cheesing real hard. I faked annoyance, ”Dag boy can I breathe?”
“Chill ma I was just gonna tell you ,ya roach so low it;s gon burn ya pretty fingers.” I looked down to see my blunt on its last pull ashes sprinkling amongst my shorts. I grinned,” Thank you.” He just looked open-mouthed quiet. At first I thought it was me but then I heard a ruckus, saw boys scrapping and girls screaming. He finally snapped out of it and ran over to join in. Shamika and her peoples had got in a car and asked if I needed a ride but I shrugged them hoes off. I was still feeling Mr. Nameless. Through the ruckus I kept my eyes peeled on him. I was not letting that boy get away.
He finally disengaged his fists from some poor boy’s face and looked around for his friends but it was deserted. “Shit”, he cursed kneeling holding his face in his hands. I approached cautiously, “Get up yo we need to get out of here”. He looked up snickered, “Aiight ma we out”. My nipples got hard just hearing this boy’s voice. We were silent for a while as we walked away from the ruckus. “I’m Kamila”. “Allen sweetie”, he pulled out a clear bottle from his jeans.” Want some vodka?” “Sure why not?”. We sat on a bench in this deserted park laughing, talking just chilling. Allen was a real rebel bad ass. He told me stories of being locked up fighting, raising all types of hell. And as farfetched and crazy as some of these tales sounded I was even more enthralled with this boy. When he started telling me about robbing some poor fuck one night I knew I was going to give him some pussy. I finally interjected a little tipsy, “Can I feel your abs?”. He laughed, “Only if I can feel your ass.” “Well in that case”, I added, “I want to feel something else.” For a good twenty minutes or so we fondled and kissed. I was squirming like hell when he stuck his middle finger in my twat. He’d basically pulled down my shorts and was finger fucking me on a park bench. I was soaking wet. “Sweet Jesus ya pussy tight girl”, Allen moaned kissing my lips, “You got my dick brick. I looked down and saw his big meat about to bust out of his plaid boxers. I was about ready to mention the condoms in my bag when we saw two drunken Mexicans stumbling and shit our way. “Come on nigga”, I stood up pulling up my shorts, “we going to my crib”. “Word”, he cheesed. The whole walk home Allen kept his right hand in the back of my shorts gripping my ass. My pussy was so wet my panties were slipping and feeling like a pamper.
Rushing through the door and running to my room, Allen and I wasted no time getting down to business. His dick looked prettier and bigger than it had in the park. He forced me onto it. “Ride it girl, ride it ma come on thoroughbred”, he yelled. And ride that shit I did. Allen was full of energy and beating my pussy out the frame. When I complained and asked him to take it out and bust, he said, “Shut up bitch .Turn over.” Those words forced me to my stomach and take them backshots. Allen was the man. “Who pussy is this?, ”he asked. “Yours nigga”I answered . I was going crazy making inaudible sounds. Allen finally nutted. I just looked up at him as he lit a Newport. I couldn’t help what spilled out, “I love you”. “Sure”, he laughed his body shaking dick semi erect. “Come here baby blow me”. Now if Craig would’ve ever said some shit like that I would’ve bit his dick off and chewed his ass out with all types of vernacular. But oddly enough I was crawling across my queen size bed and blowing Allen like a chocolate blow pop. “You love this dick girl. You love the dick.” I was throwing that shit because his eyes were rolling in the back of his head.
He finally pushed my head off him. “Turn over”, he commanded. I was expecting him to fuck again so I asked him to use a condom to which he told me to shut the fuck up. It was quiet for a minute then I felt the soft wet exterior of a tongue. Allen was licking my pussy so sweet tears came to my eyes. Then that tongue moved up. Baby whoever said ass is nasty is a fucking liar. That tongue in and out of my asshole felt blazing.Allen was going in eating ass out. He started spitting on it then I heard a condom rip. Before I knew it Allen had his fat dick in my ass. It was like being a virgin again. It hurt so bad nothing could escape my mouth. I was tensing up trying to squeeze it out. “Chill boo I got you “,Allen moaned. He went slower and steadier till I got used to it. I actually started to like it, the way his dick felt right in my stomach. He finally stopped. “What happened?” I asked looking back at his sweat drenched body beads rolling down his 6 pack. He laughed,” I nutted. I looked back at him a little disgusted. He laughed again at my puzzled expression, “Ass is tighter than pussy” He pulled out and I could’ve cried when I saw the condom caked with shit. It didn’t seem to faze Allen who just shrugged and said, “shit happens. You a virgin. Besides a little shit wont hurt this big dick.” We went to the bathroom to wash up and fell asleep in each other’s arms.
I was tingling all over. I woke Allen up around 6 am and told him he had to go I gave him my # and made him promise to call me. He cheesed, “You aint gon neva forget me. I beat that pussy right. Opened up new tunnels and all.” I tried to give him a kiss but he just moved away and said, “Save it for someone special. Im’a holla. And he was gone. Damn was I not the biggest slut or what. I’d just fucked a boy who I’d known less than 24 hours. Didn’t know his last name, where he lived, nothing. Sucked his dick and took it in the ass. But you know I didn’t feel the least bit guilty or nasty at all. I waited for Allen to call but he never did. I started going downtown to see if I could run into him. But nobody knew who I was talking about or if they did said they hadn’t seen him in a while. This was almost a week now so Thursday I went to the mall to see about an outfit for graduation. I spotted Allen all hugged up with some stank looking trick with a crazy shape. I peeped her Louis bag, Gucci outfit and jewels and called it for what it was. He was using this bitch. I was expecting him to stop, say hello but this Negro looked me in the face and kept it pushing.
I didn’t get mad. I actually laughed. But I took that as a lesson. I was going to treat niggas the way they treated girls. Fuck a feeling. Relationships were too complicated and besides sex with no strings attached was the shit. I was free unbound. Society deemed me a whore, I was sexually liberated. And unlike these other broads I wouldn’t fuck friends, do threesomes or fuck people from the same hood. Hell I was actually looking for a grown man to teach this young girl some new tricks. I knew I was on some whole other level.
Friday rolled around again. I dressed with care, smelled nice, and smoked a fat blunt, looked over my room, college acceptance letter, and honor roll certificates. Who said you couldn’t be a fun nerd? The house was empty this week as well, my family off at some fucking crab fest in Maryland. Fat bitches. I laughed as I left my house. I stopped a Target before I reached McDonalds, bought an enema, condoms and lubricant. The heat of the night hit me and like every other Friday night in this dead ass town McDonalds was the spot for the under 21 year olds. Time to go get it popping! Mama was long overdue.
Big Black Trans and Beautiful 