It goes without saying that the greatest relationships with people are built on sharing. Sharing , the act of exchanging your stuff with another. On surface , sharing sounds like such an altruistic act. But the reality is sharing comes with sacrifice. Sharing comes with vulnerability. And often, people may not want what you’re sharing. It is not a one sided act at all. As a wanna be writer, as someone who has always best expressed myself through words, I’m confounded constantly with the weight of sharing. Sharing my experiences, sharing other’s experiences, my feelings and others, sharing beliefs and others. And I’m often acutely saturated with what sharing whatever it is may mean for a reader or a listener. As a species, we are attuned to take shit personal. But there is a power in being open to sharing, even if it’s some shit you don’t agree with or understand. Billions of people on the world, an infinite number of experiences, values and truths.
Earlier on this date, I passed by someone who wanted to get my attention. But I just kept walking on by in my vibe and did not feel like sharing my time, sharing my ears, sharing my little bit of me with this person for whatever unknown reason. I imagine it was some small little thing, some thing this person just needed to say, wanted to say. And I had no time for them. I did not feel like sharing. Did not want the intrusion or possible insult. I haven’t yet developed that very particular Black queer way of being aloof and unyielding in the world. The type of cheery, sort of no sweat off my back approach I’ve observed from my tribe. It’s like yea they may be phobic or living for me but either way I’m so fabulous. I’m more don’t fuck with me and I won’t fuck with you.
I will do my best to share. So often, I find we live in such a facade driven, perfectionist seeking ass world. The kind where kind strangers offer very privileged, judgmental advice. The kind of world where you’re judged worthy by the price of your bags , the names of your shoes. The kind of world where those of us of darker hues are always performing and making ourselves as palatable as we can in a world that cannot and will not digest our beauty. The kind of world built on seeking respectability as much as you can while navigating mazes and traps. But somewhere in that I’ll find time to share , I guess.