She hoped this one would be the one. The one who would finally bring her to relief. It was time and she was so tired of being tired. Lord only knows, how hard she tried to be better, to want better, to do better only to end up falling on her ass again and again crying those rivers of what ifs and that’s why’s. She thinks it was the day the most important one told her she was less than pretty. To be fair he did say she had style. But denying her her beauty had greater weights than he knew in his Margarita entrenched state. He didn’t know how badly she wanted to cleave to some semblance that it all made sense, that she had not just wasted ten years of her life becoming the woman she knew herself to be, if it was only a bad joke, an act, a mind tripped out on spirits and roots as the old folks said. Yeah that beauty comment from that man whose juice she erupted from hit hard in the gut and crushed her little spirit.

She left him at that old station in that old neighborhood where they once knew each other. She felt so ugly and so relieved too cause it explained it all. It explained the lack of real relationships, explained lack of self esteem, informed her current health status and predicted her mother’s words of warning. He’d confirmed what she always knew deep down. That she was ugly and unwanted , a monster, a ghoul, a big ass joke who insulted the real ones. Those precious , perfect ones with their magic pussies. Those sweet, beautiful pussies that made them the rightful owners, heirs and tenants of womanhood and femininity. Her lacks made her an intruder, a caricature, a creature of pretend who had the audacity to think itself like them. Getting on the arriving uptown train opposite the direction she needed to, it took her to needing that fix.

Looking around the morose train car for possessors of masculine bodied peen, it was time to fuck herself better. And even more all those familiar mores of telling t and being open about her baggage was out the window. She snuck a sip of her brandy and waited for penis to come. She wanted some untouchable kinda penis. The kinda penis that taunted her in the unseeing , horrified owners. The ones who scorned her, who secretly got off on that undivided worship the pussy holders could never give, the one who intrigued as much as repulsed. The kinda possessor who’d never give her a chance. At the last stop before they crossed into another county he appeared. The whiff of Tom Ford tickled her nose as she spotted him a whole train section away. Bold was her name as she checked out the god. He was Basketball player high, he was Godiva brown with a low haircut and the well moisturized skin of a pussy magnet. He had on the freshest clothes complete with the fresh as fuck j’s. He had the look of a man who’d never look her way. Even if she stood in front of him he never would.

She walked to the other row of empty seats and sat in front of him. ” I like your cologne”, she purred in her sweetest voice. She employed a crisp Hilary Banks persona. “Thank you” ,he responded barely looking up from his phone. She went bolder,” I betchu no other hotter man has ever worn such a scent.” He looked up from his phone in the low , weed smoked dull eyes framed by long lashes and bust out laughing. Fresh one are you, he said taking in the fat black bitch in front of him. He hated her kind with their desperate asses. They always said whatever the fuck and were horribly easy.

“Yeah sometimes I can be especially when I see something I like”. She loved this show . This boldness, the raised voice, the obliviousness to the other passengers or station stops. She was gon pull it all out to get this dude. She needed him bad. Those muscles confirmed he would handle what she needed. He decided to humor her badly built self. She had decent looking lips. The rest was a mass of big eyes and wide nose and the general profile of a wack bitch. None of her clothes were name brand and on her feet were some old Uggs that had seen better days. Chicks like this were good for some Grade A fellatio and maybe some hard, dry anal when his beast was in full mode. They were never knowable and he never asked their names or nothing. ” You a funny chick yo” he said to her , taking in the fixed gaze of this woman who didn’t let up.

She said more slutty things, he listened to her as the train went on. He said show me what that mouth like and they ended up getting off the train in the worst hood of the county. She knew of a cheap motel that she offered to pay. She was actually surprised this was going to happen. He told her to walk ahead of him to lead the way and also cause a dude like him could not be seen with a girl like her. It all seemed to happen in a matter of minutes. Getting the bed bug suite in the dirty red lighted motel. They had up to 3 hours to consummate nothing. In five minutes she was gagging on a still clothed, still coated him. She gave him her old strip special. She had a way of sucking aggressively but withholding the motion to prevent premature ejaculation. She wanted him to enjoy it , to get so into it, under her spell that he wouldn’t notice till it was too late. And head nibbled, ball sucking spit, jack with hand. The coat came off then the Armani sweater, the true religions were unbuttoned and the red polo briefs were removed. He was now fingering her tits , was reaching for her ass and her pussy when she swatted his hand away. His eyes were closed enjoying the worship.

” You want some of this daddy? She was down to her pink Vicky’s and the red thong underneath. Yea turn over bitch he barked relishing in the abject disrespect he could dish out. She pulled the panties below her cheeks and lay on her stomach. She was happy he said nothing bout a condom. She wanted it bare. He hog spit enough to cover her ass and hit crevices of her back fit. There was no easing , he shot that throbbing pole into the tiny hole. The fiery friction probably immediately produced a month’s worth of fissures. She didn’t howl , wanting the pain, wanting that gratification he was feeling. He was actually moaning in the warmth and tightness. He pulled out about five minutes later coating her back with the juice. He gazed down at his handiwork hoping none of the cum dripped from her ass to her pussy. He noticed extra meat that didn’t look like a twat. He felt the head of a small penis. Yo what the fuck he barked . This was some porno bullshit and he wasn’t with it. He hit her on the back of her head with his fist. He started pummeling her. And she wasn’t crying. She turned over and faced his mad rage. He punched her in the face and then the stomach. Barks of obscenities and spitting and knuckles and kicks for good measure. She felt a crumpling and it went black.

“Ayy “boom , boom, boom, the knocks and yells from the old Asian man roused her in to the pounded head and twisted vision courtesy of the congealed blood and broken blood vessels in her eyes . All over her brown body were seas of purple, blood was everywhere and it all hurt. Everywhere hurt. He hadn’t succeeded in taking her out. But she was finally able to see in the finger smudged dirty mirror of the room, how ugly she truly was. It hurt to smile but she did. That’s what the broken ones did.

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